Vaccinated From Negativity
Is it me, or does it seem like people are miserable? I mean, really, just an extra flavor of nasty. This is not a vent, a rant, or even a criticism, just a questioning observation.
If you, too, have been wondering, “what-in-the-misery” is going on? Please read on. Be warned. This is not about them. It’s about a mindset that I believe has vaccinated me from negativity.
I walked outside once. It began to pour down rain. Without an umbrella, I was drenched. I decided that if I did not want to get wet in the future, I should probably prepare myself with some kind of rain protection. What I did NOT say to myself is, “Every time I walk outside without an umbrella, it rains.” I did not make the rain about me. It was not personalized. However, it was personal…I got wet. It did not rain because of me.
Being vaccinated from negativity is very similar. Other people’s nastiness, negativity, shortcomings, and bias are NOT about me. Their issues are not because of me. This is not a weight I carry or a burden they can offer me. I don’t personalize other people’s issues. It is simply not on the table.
This is the distinction between realizing “it’s not about you”, versus “taking it personally” and knowing when it is personal.
If someone slaps me, the reason I was hit may have nothing to do with me. I still feel the sting. That’s personal. But the “why” behind their actions likely have nothing to do with me. The slap is not personalized.
Like a bad odor; if I get too close, I can be assaulted by the smell. And the problem with any bad odor is that if you stay in an odorous room too long, you adjust to the odor and can no longer smell it. Furthermore, if someone else walks into the room, they will not know that you are not the source of the odor — the nastiness, the negativity, or the misery.
They say misery loves company for a reason. I prefer the photo below — sent by a friend who said I reminded them of the image.
First, I was born this way — unbridled optimism mixed with an extra dose of joy; add to that, the conscious choice not to personalize the things I am not responsible for, and I definitely feel like I am socially distanced from most negativity.
Because I am unshakably joyful, I wondered if I was delusional. Don’t laugh. I was concerned. I found myself responding to the worst in people with the best in me. I thought, “Why aren’t you more angry, sad… anything?” But none of that showed up, and it hasn’t yet, although another emotion has — empathic honesty.
I might be delusional if my optimism were not coupled with a child-like realism that has me known for saying things the “adulting” might not. My joy does not mean I lay down; it just means I state what is true with empathic honesty. Because when it is personal, sometimes a response is necessary.
This might be the point where my beloved Christian friends would give honor to God. And it’s true; I won’t take all the credit. Everything I have shared thus far is watered by the surety of my Christian faith. But I am not talking about “Churchianity” or “Christianese.” I don’t mean to offend, but this is an important distinction. You can’t fake mercy, and you can’t fake joy, especially when you are uncomfortable. These last years have been incredibly uncomfortable for many of us.
I told you this little musing was about me. Well, now, let’s turn to you.
I know my mindset is not for everyone. Some struggle with different levels of mental wellness. Please know that what I have shared is not intended to be prescriptive. It is my story. Still, others willfully thrive on negativity like a good savory cigar inhaling life and blowing out criticisms, judgments, and sarcasm.
I just don’t do secondhand smoke. The last three years won’t let me unsee the power position my joyful disposition has given me.
My sister told me recently that she was protecting her peace. That is the sum of the matter. It makes no sense why or how I maintain this gem of joy. But I will protect it. My joy is non-negotiable.
